48hr Experience -Charles
It is not “what the 48hrs experience is?”. It is “what the 48 our experience became?” that is the correct question for me to ask myself and is the question that helps me to explain what I would like to achieve by asking, “what is the 48hrs experience”.
As the 48hrs experience became something removed from what we planned, it suggests that those who participated needed it to be what it became more than what we planned for it to be. However, as we did not share what we had planned at the beginning of the 48hrs, I can not be sure of this. We did not share the schedule, so we came to a removed drifted area in the 48hr experience. In my opinion, this shed far more light on the reality of all of us in the experiences. The topic context of the 48hrs gave people the voice to express how they were feeling in a political, social, cultural language to communicate, what they need or to provide a mirror to see why societies act the way they do.
To explain how it became what it became. I have considered myself and the other facilitators and then considered my perception of the tensions created. What I mean by 'tensions' is the rise of desires for the following:
the implementation for a schedule
to discuss certain topics
to impose personal ideas
to reveal awareness about topics
to be free in one's thoughts
to finish what one is talking about
to remove pain from individuals
to change perspectives
to have something concrete
to have something even more subjective
to have the space more subjective
to have the space more uniformed
It took me by surprise. Did I listen too strongly to myself? If so, yes, in this experience, I pushed myself or allowed myself to dissolve, which is possibly a better way of explaining what I did in the experience. As I did not respond to the majority of my thought of desire to take leadership and give structure to the time. I only observed myself in most situations, I listened to all of the voices internal and external that arose, that were prompting me to act. The action only came when the the strings between the desiring machines rose to a level of tension that was in my experience the edge of being irresponsible or socially unacceptable, which I felt would have been detrimental to the group and the overall experience and for everyone part of it. (side note - possibly something to be explored, the limits of my perspective of what is acceptable in a group. Specifically within the field of structure of time and imposing a plan. The difference between a safe space and brave space)
I will explain what I observed in the 48hr experience to help derive the information that can help clarify what the 48hr experience became and how we can develop it to shape a space that is even more suited for those who participate.
There was a schedule that we planned for the event. The plan was complete. It spanned the whole 48 hrs. It gave room for eating, sleeping, resting, preparing, workshopping and feedback. If anything, it was too full. However, I did not enforce it. The reason why I did not implement it is not as straightforward as I wish it to be. The reason why it is not so clear is the wishing that I planned to allow things to go the way they did gets in the way of the truth of what happened, which is I let the schedule drift and was just aware of my thoughts to enforce the schedule. In this lack of pushing the schedule into fruition, I came to understand what the 48hr experience could be or is. It was a 48hrs experience based on finding another type of world that is not governed by capitalistic mechanisms, in not becoming pushy by imposing the schedule on to the participants who arrived expecting such structures as a schedule. I experienced a type of awareness of group dynamics that drifted. As the group drifted to the limits of its patience and did not know what was happening, the group would leave their conversations and come back to the presence of the space and question what was happening. This allowed me to become simply the character within the group that could give guidance when the group needed it. The role of my position was inverted, instead of me wanting to get something out of the group, I was there to give the group guidance when the group became stuck, lost or a feeling of lacking arose, they would speak up and we would offer them a part of the schedule, that which was planned.
We were prepared, we could give the group structure as in the what was planned.
The schedule just became that in which we could deviate from, that in which we could drift away from, rather than trying to achieve.
What is drifting?
Why do people not drift?